Almost Perfect
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Almost Perfect

Directed by Jake Helgren, who wrote 2012’s Bloody Homecoming, Varsity Blood is another drop in the pool of ’80s slasher homages that the The Executioners DTV horror market is inundated with. While the film has its moments, overall it’s a frustrating, tedious experience that viewers will most likely dismiss shortly after watching it.

Released on the heels of the wickedly original All Cheerleaders Die, Varsity Blood follows a much more worn narrative path where a group of knucklehead jocks and their cheerleader counterparts are slaughtered by a masked villain. There’s not much originality here, An Impossible Love but Helgren does balance the stereotypical characters with nicely sympathetic ones and others who break the mold. One of the main jocks, for example, is actually not a caricature and kind of a nice guy. That being said, the other jocks are beer-guzzling, tail-chasing nimrods that I couldn’t have cared less about.

The film is set on Halloween, always a good sign in my book. The holiday amounts to nothing but set dressing though. Nothing that occurs in the movie, besides Danger One a small bit of trick or treating, has anything to do with Halloween. Bloody Homecoming star Lexi Giovagnoli returns as Hannah, the new girl in school who recently transferred after her father was killed by a drunk driver. Her new stepbrother also saw tragedy at the hand’s of a drunk who killed his girlfriend. What does all this backstory amount to? Well, not much. It all gets scrapped later on for silly twists and the infuriating motivation of the killer.

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IMDb: 5.7

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